I did it! I finally had my homebirth. For those that say that having a "perfect birth" is impossible, I say that nothing is impossible.

I had been having prelabor contractions since the Wednesday before " birth day". These contractions ranged anywhere from 5 - 12 minutes apart, lasting about 40 seconds. Most of them were manageable, but some of them were quite intense. I was sure that I would be having a baby any day.

The weekend came and went, and still no baby. I had resigned myself to the fact that maybe I would make it to my due date (Aug. 19th), and that was something I was totally okay with.

Wednesday morning rolled around (Aug. 11th). I started having some more prelabor contractions around 5:30 a.m. They were the same kind I had been feeling all week, so I didn't think anything of them. I went back to sleep and woke up at 6:30 a.m. when I noticed that they were getting closer together and were becoming more intense.

I called John at 7:30 a.m. to have him come home from work. Once he was home we started timing. Contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes and were lasting about 40 seconds. I hopped in the shower to see if they would stop, while John helped with making the kids breakfast.

I was vocalizing a lot while the kids were eating. Manny kept asking what I was doing, and John responded by saying that I was singing. However, Manny thought I sounded like a zombie and started walking around with his arms extended saying "oooooh". He was exactly what I needed b/c he was making me laugh which eased the tension of the situation.

At 9:00 a.m. we realized that this was probably the real deal. We called the midwives, my mom, my friends Jen and Kinsie. Everyone was on their way, and arrived around 10:00 a.m.

This is where time gets fuzzy....shortly after my mom took the kids, and everyone else arrived, John filled up the tub. Contractions were becoming increasingly painful, so I decided to hop in for some relief. Almost immediately my contractions spaced. Instead of every 2-3 minutes, they were coming along every 4-5 minutes.

I stayed in the tub for about 2 hours. Around 2:00 p.m. my midwife, Juli, came in and suggested that I get out of the tub. She believed that the hot water was relaxing me too much and slowing my labor hormones.

I was out of the tub for about an hour when Juli suggested that she check me just to see where we stood. I was heartbroken to find out that I was only at 5cm. I felt like I had been in labor for-ev-er, and the only progress I had made was 2cm (I was checked at 37 weeks and was 3 cm). I was so, so, so tired. I felt defeated, and started crying. Juli reassured me that the only reason I wasn't dilating as fast as I could be was b/c Jackson hadn't started to descend yet. She had me try several more positions for the next hour to get Jackson to drop into my pelvis.

At 3:00 p.m. I couldn't handle the contractions anymore, and begged to get back into the pool. John quickly emptied out the cold water, and refilled it with warm water. Once I got in, I instantly felt my body relax. The water was amazing. It didn't take away the pain of the contractions, but it definitely allowed me to relax in between.

I could tell I was nearing the end b/c the smallest things were starting to annoy me. What once were comforting touches made my skin crawl. I started shaking. I started getting really loud. Later I was told I sounded like an opera singer...haha.

I could tell John was getting antsy b/c he kept getting up to find something to do. Unfortunately, he made these trips during contractions which made me lose focus (which I promptly conveyed once the contraction was over).

Several things happened at once (or seemed like it anyway). I felt like I was starting to lose control. The pain was becoming so intense that I was having a difficult time focusing. I could tell that I wasn't using my contractions to the best of their ability. Juli pointed out that I was projecting outward, instead of inward. During the next several contractions I focused on my center and pictured Jackson's head moving down in my pelvis.

It felt like it took forever, but I eventually started to feel the urge to push. At this point I was so exhausted I didn't feel like I would make it. I remember telling everyone, "I can't do this anymore," to which everyone present said that I could, and reassured me that I was doing a great job. I pushed with all of my might and my bag of waters exploded. Thirty minutes later I pushed out Jackson's head along with the rest of his body. It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.

I went from 5cm to complete in 2 hours. What was amazing was that I felt completely present during the entire process. For some reason I always thought that my mind would leave my body. While I felt close to the point of insanity during contractions, once they were over I was able to fully use the 1-2 minutes in between to recoup.

Jackson Boone was born August 11th at 5:15 p.m. He weighs 8lbs 10oz and is 21 inches long. There were definitely times during labor that I didn't think I would make it, which I vocalized on several occasions.

This is by far the most difficult, yet most rewarding experience of my life. There is no way that I could have made it without the awesome support people around me.

Labels: birth